


Dismember the Titans

by neverknowsbest



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Rock Band, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-06
Updated: 2014-05-04
Packaged: 2018-01-07 16:54:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1122251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neverknowsbest/pseuds/neverknowsbest
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Local band Dismember the Titans were in desperate need of a new drummer, and college student Eren Jaeger seemed like their best bet. At first, Eren couldn't believe his luck, until he started noticing one of his band mates...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Feed you to the sharks, throw you to the wolves

**Author's Note:**

> SO AHH. I've never successfully written a fanfic before?? To which the obvious response is an AU NO ONE ASKED FOR ABOUT A SHITTY POP-PUNK-HARDCORE-ISH BAND. I just thought of something I would want to read, and I went with it. Sorry about this.

“Holy shit. Well, my life is basically over.”

 

“Wh- what happened?” Armin popped his head over the edge of the top bunk to make sure I hadn’t dropped dead at my desk. “Are you okay?”

 

I sighed. “... Yeah. He broke his arm.”

 

He screwed up his face in confusion, trying to make sense of what I’d said. “Who? Connie?” Of everyone we knew, he honestly seemed like the most likely candidate.

 

“No... Erd.” 

 

“Oh.”

 

“You have no idea what I’m talking about, do you?” I rested my chin in my hand as I looked up at my horribly confused roommate. Armin shrugged with a sheepish half-grin.

 

“Sorry, no...”

 

Another exasperated sigh. “Erd. Erd Gin. _The_ Erd Gin.” I did my best to jog his memory, but his worried expression stuck. “The entire reason I started drumming.”

 

“ _Oh._ The beard guy from that band you like.” A wave of relief passed over Armin’s face, realizing I wasn’t talking about anyone we actually knew. I, however, still felt like I’d been hit by a truck.

 

“Dismember is more than just ‘ _some band,_ ’ Armin. It’s a pretty big deal when a band from _our school_ does that well. They’ve been on the radio.”

 

“It’s campus radio, Eren. Of course they played them. They’re only a few years older than us, anyway.”

 

“Ugh. I was going to follow them in the summer. It was supposed to be my graduation present to myself.” My head sunk down to my desk, and I slowly started to bang it against my keyboard.

 

“Sorry. Who knows? Maybe they’ll find someone else by then.” 

 

“WHAT.” The blood rushed to my head as I sat up and shot Armin a look that made him flinch.

 

“Well, do you want them to just burn out like that, or would you rather them pick some new guy, at least until Ed’s arm heals, and keep going?”

 

“It’s _Erd_ , Armin.” Splitting hairs would hopefully distract me from what he was suggesting. As far as I was concerned, a band formed a certain way for a reason. Erd was just as much a part of their sound as anyone else, and the band wouldn’t be the same without him.

 

\---

 

“ _Oh my fucking God._ ”

 

“You really have to stop making things on the internet sound like you’re dying.”

 

Armin looked over at me from his desk with a look of absolute indifference. Over the last few days, he’d put up with several outbursts over the news around Erd Gin’s broken arm. A blog reported that he had been planning on leaving the band before the accident, and now he had the perfect opportunity. I took the ‘news’ with a grain of salt, since I could literally walk downstairs, knock on Marco’s door, and ask for his sources. This one, though. This wasn’t so much a post as it was a press release.

 

_Trost band Dismember the Titans will be holding auditions to fill a recent vacancy. Only drummers need apply. Professional experience not necessary, but appreciated. Auditions will be held Saturday, November 14, in room 107 of the Herst Music Building, Trost College of the Arts campus at 1 pm._

 

“No, Armin. They’re having auditions. Here. On campus. On Saturday.”

 

“O... okay. What? Do you want to go watch?”

 

“Hell no. I’m trying out.”

 

He stared. We didn’t make eye contact, but he bored a hole into the middle of my forehead. There wasn’t a real expression on his face, but I knew the face he made when he was trying to say something without hurting my feelings.

 

“But, Eren...”

 

“I know, I know, but don’t worry. I won’t be dropping out or anything. We graduate in May, and they aren’t going on tour until after then. Even then, it’s not that big of a tour. Just a few states, nothing too far away. And besides, it’s not like you’ll be alone. Mikasa’s still here, and Connie and Sasha will be arou- no, wait, they were going to follow Dismember with me- Well, they’ll be back soon, I guess. It’ll be okay, Armin! We’ll hang out a lot before the tour, and then we’ll move into the city and-”

 

“No, Eren. It’s not that. I’m perfectly capable of surviving without you. It’s just...”

 

“What? Afraid it’ll go to my head?” I laughed.

 

“No. You’re just...”

“Just what? I know I don’t have any real experience, but I practice all the time, and I know all their songs and-”

“Eren, you’re just... not very good.”

 

\---

 

Even though I had class in the Herst building almost every day, the knot that developed in my stomach as I walked into the audition made it impossible to find the right room. If Armin hadn’t insisted on coming with me, I would have left or thrown up on my shoes (or, more than likely, both). As we finally reached the right room, the knot tightened. Several other potential drummers sat in various chairs or on the floor outside the laminate-coated door, all of them sweating just as much as I was. A shorter woman, with hair a color somewhere between carrots and peaches, waited in the hallway with a clipboard. “I’m here for the audition,” I mumbled, raising my drumsticks like an idiot.

 

“Oh, you just made it! We didn’t think anyone else would be coming.” She seemed aggressively upbeat, almost in spite of the obvious tension around her. “Will... both of you be trying out?” She craned her neck at Armin standing behind me.

 

“Uh, no,” he replied shakily. “Just here for support.”

 

“Well, then. Just give me your name, and I’ll call you when it’s your turn. There’s only two ahead of you, so you shouldn’t have to wait long.” The woman, who I later learned was called Petra, pushed hair behind her ear before clicking the end of a pen to write my name at the end of a long list of crossed out applicants.

 

“Ah... E-eren. Eren Jaeger.” Petra nodded and stepped away, writing on the clipboard. I turned quietly back to Armin. “Holy shit. This was a bad idea. I’m going back to bed.”

 

“What? No! I could be studying for my film history final right now, but instead, I’m standing out in a hallway with you. You are _not_ going back to bed. You’re going to go in that room and _beat the shit out of some drums, Eren._ ” I felt my jaw slacken and my eyes go wide. Armin had snapped at me. Armin _fucking_ Arlert, who in 16 years of friendship had never so much as raised his voice to me, had just reprimanded me like a four-year-old who tried to stick a fork in the toaster.

 

“I... I think I can do that. Th-” As I scraped together an answer for Armin’s oddly supportive outburst, Petra appeared out of nowhere.

 

“Eren? It seems like nerves finally got to the person before you, and he’s disappeared... You can go in now, if you like.” She held the clipboard up to hide the lower half of her face, as though it was her fault.

 

“Oh. Thanks...” My throat went dry, and a hard swallow did nothing to help it. Armin clapped me on the shoulder with a weak smile. “Good luck. I’ll hang out until you’re done.” I reached out and turned the door handle.

 

\---

 

“You’re... not very good, are you?”

 

My eyes opened and met the narrow grey ones across the room. The accompanying face wasn’t any more comforting. I’d never seen a completely blank face that made me so uneasy.

 

“What I think Levi... _means_ to say is that I don’t think you have as much technical skill as some of the others we’ve seen today.” The blond frontman smiled as he patted the shorter bassist, probably a bit harder than necessary, on the back. Despite this weird display of friendship(?), I was distracted by Levi’s only comment on my audition. My shoulders drooped and my eyes fell to the floor.

 

“No, _Erwin_. I meant to say he’s not very good.” With the confirmation that I had completely blown the audition, I stood up to leave. I began to walk quickly to the door, since crying in front of my favorite band would absolutely not be the last thing I did before I crawled into a corner and died. As I passed the table, Levi continued. “... But, I mean, neither is Jean, and we keep him around. Actually, he might be better than Jean. If anyone’s leaving, it should be him.” I stopped in a cold sweat.

 

“Shut up, you tiny fucker.” An obnoxiously familiar voice shot back at Levi. _Jean. Goddamned. Kirschstein._ That piece of shit had been in my Intro to Music class years ago, and somehow fell into a spot in Dismember about a year ago. He wasn’t that great of a writer, but he could definitely play music other people had written for him. I silently wondered if Erwin had to write tabs out for him. 

 

A chair skidded away from the table. “Hey, wait up! Eren, hold on!” A much more excited voice rang out over the beginning of an argument between Levi and Jean. Hanji, the keyboard player and “samplist and pedal master” as they had called themselves, was waving an arm over their head. I slowly walked back to the table, confused as hell. “I thought you were alright! A little rough, but that’s something that comes with practice. You have a lot of raw talent, though, and that’s hard to come by!” Hanji’s level of enthusiasm paired with what seemed like negativity from the rest of the band was off-putting, to put it nicely. If anything, it felt like Hanji was just saying it to be nice, or making fun of me. I could feel a frown spreading across my face, which seemed to finally break Hanji’s plastered grin. “Oh... is everything okay? You look upset.” Hanji cocked their head and looked genuinely concerned.

 

“Didn’t... didn’t I blow it? Levi said I wasn’t good enough.” I shifted my gaze to the wall, wanting to look anywhere other than one of the faces that were now staring at me. 

 

“Tch.” Levi hissed in my direction. “No. I just said that you weren’t very good. Hanji’s right:  you can get better with practice, and we’re pretty desperate for a drummer.” He unfolded his arms from across his chest, rested an elbow on the table, and smirked. “And if we’re willing to take you, that must tell you how shitty everyone else has been today.” My face went hot. Levi was notorious for not showing any emotions other than disinterest (is that even an emotion?), and that was almost a smile. I pushed a thought out of my head as soon as it appeared: _shit, that was kind of cute._  

 

“Well. I guess it’s official, then.” Erwin spoke up over Levi’s smug mumbling. “Eren Jaeger, welcome to Dismember the Titans.”


	2. That means something, doesn't it?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Eren starts to feel like part of the band, Levi spits beer on him, and Jean's car shows up in unexpected places.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO YEAH. It's been a bit longer than I wanted, but I finally have a second chapter. And it's long as shit. Sorry 'bout the thing. Went ahead and threw that 'E' rating on it, for future purposes.

In the next two weeks, I learned a lot of... interesting things about my new bandmates. Erwin always swore he and Levi were the same age, even though Levi usually explained that this had been Erwin’s _third_ time turning 26. It had finally been confirmed that Jean was somehow dating someone at my school. He refused to tell me who it was, just that it was ‘definitely someone I knew,’ whatever the hell that meant. Hanji always had some kind of new pedal or set of samples at practice, where the term ‘pedal’ was used very loosely. Because of the dubious nature of said ‘pedals,’ I also learned that Levi had been electrocuted no less than three times. 

 

Honestly, it felt kind of weird to be so casual with everyone when I already knew so much about them. Everyone at school knew the story:  Levi and Erwin met in an Intro class in Levi’s first year. The two were matched up for a project, and learned they had somewhat similar tastes in music. The following semester, they became roommates and found Hanji in the archives, hunting for sample sounds. Not long afterward, they’d recruited Erd and formed something resembling a proper band. The four of them collaborated on their individual school projects, and upon graduating, began playing off campus. They’d cut a few short albums with school equipment, and were being scouted by a few smaller labels. Now, they were touring in small doses, and picked up Jean to play rhythm guitar last year (and I still couldn’t figure out why...).

 

After practice one night, I was loading the drum kit back into the storage space where we kept the equipment when I felt daggers being stared into the back of my head. “What are you _doing_ , kid?” I didn’t even need to turn around to see Levi standing with his arms folded over his chest, looking at me like I’d actually shit on the drums or something.

 

“Umm. I’m... putting the drums away?” It came out like a question, one that if I answered wrong, would absolutely get my ass kicked. I couldn’t see any problems with it. Everything was taken apart they way I’d found it, nothing was laying on top of anything it shouldn’t have been...

 

“Tell me, Eren. Out of all of our equipment, what takes the longest to set up?”

 

“... My drums?” Another unnecessary question.

 

“And wouldn’t it make the most sense to get those out first, so everyone else doesn’t have to wait on your ass?”

 

“Y-yeah.” For some reason, my eye twitched when he mentioned my ass.

 

“And, correct me if I’m wrong, whatever gets put into storage first would be unloaded...?” Levi lowered his head and looked me in the eye, waiting for me to finish his sentence.

 

“... Last.” He added, having apparently waited too long for me to answer. “It would come out last, which is exactly what you’re doing. So, I’ll ask again. What the fuck are you doing?”

 

“Being a dumbass.” I shuffled back into the storage space to take everything back out. As I picked up some of the smaller pieces, Levi brushed past me to pick up a snare. “Come on. The sooner you get it right, the sooner I can get something to eat.” On my way back out of the space, I saw that Hanji was still checking over the small herd of electronics, almost like they were killing time and waiting for something.

 

“Hanji? Do you need something out of storage?” They jumped and turned sheepishly, as though I’d caught them doing something wrong.

 

“Ah!” Hanji sat down the bundle of sparking exposed wire they’d dubbed a “pedal” and began pulling on a coat. “Not really. Levi and I usually go out to eat after practice, so I thought I’d hang around.” I turned back to the storage closet to finish unloading the kit, just to find the drums in a neat pile next to the door. Levi was rolling the last of the amps in, rolls of cable wound around his shoulders. We loaded the rest of the equipment away in nowhere near the amount of time I’d expected. 

 

As I watched Levi lock up, I realized I wasn’t watching the act of someone fastening a padlock on a door as much as I was just watching _him._ The longer I thought about it, I realized I’d been watching him closely the past few times we’d been together. Not just the obvious things, like the fact that he looked at me like I was the world’s biggest fucking idiot every time I opened my mouth. There were smaller things. Like how, despite his protests to testing Hanji’s various effect pedals on the grounds of one-too-many near death experiences, he never actually turned them down. Like the times he and Jean would stop arguing long enough to actually seem like they might enjoy each others’ company. It was all a little off-putting; he seemed like such a dismissive hardass that it was weird seeing him act like an actual human being.

 

“Hey. Kid. I asked you a fucking question.” I suddenly realized I was accidentally making eye contact with Levi and wondered how long it had been happening. Instead of a shitty remark about exactly how stupid I was, he looked slightly concerned. 

 

I gasped as I refocused my eyes. “Wha-?” _Jesus Christ, what did he say? It probably had something to do with the next practice holy shit if I didn’t hear him does that mean I can’t come to the next one what if they kick me out goddammit why was I thinking about stupid things like his stupid face and how nice his a-_

 

“I said, are you hungry? Hanji and I usually meet Jean at Shifty’s after practice, but he skipped out.” After a few seconds, I processed what he’d said.

 

“Oh... Yeah. I could eat.” I shook my head, like I was trying to clear water out of my ears. 

 

_Or gay thoughts. Same-same._

\---

 

“So, this guy says to Levi, ‘Yeah, you’re good, but aren’t you a little young to be in a bar?’ Like, he actually said that. After seeing his I.D. and after about four beers.” Hanji seemed almost a little too enthusiastic to be telling me embarrassing stories about Levi’s numerous interactions with bouncers.

 

“And? What happened?” I had to admit, I was just as eager to hear the stories as Hanji was to tell them.

 

“Clearly, I killed a man over four beers and an insult.” Levi responded without even looking up from his burger. “What the hell do you think I did? I told him to fuck off and had another beer.” Silence fell over the booth as we ate. Once all the food was finally gone (more or less:  Hanji continued to pick at their fries, not really eating them, but not letting the bitchy, freckled waitress take them), I decided to make more small talk. 

 

“So, you guys all play more than one instrument, right?” An awkward half-statement/half-question.

 

“Sort of? I mean, I can function on a drum pad if I need to, but it’s not anything I’d really want to do in front of people,” Hanji gestured wide at the explanation and mimed hitting a drum pad. “Levi, though. Levi basically plays everything!”

 

“I sure as hell do not...” Levi darted his eyes toward the wall, and I could have sworn he turned slightly red. I wrote it off as a side effect of the almost-empty hefeweizen in his hand. “I own some guitars and I know my way around them well enough to write. That’s all.”

 

“That’s... really cool, actually. I’ve always wanted to learn how to play something else.” An idea hit me. “Levi. Do you... do you think you could teach me how to play guitar?”

 

He looked at me with the most incredulous face I had ever seen in my life. “Eren. Seriously. I just told you I don’t actually play. Get Erwin to teach you.” He punctuated his refusal with a swig of his beer.

 

I shifted in my seat. “Erwin’s really intimidating, though. Like, he’s fucking intense.”

 

I felt a warm spray of what smelled like Blue Moon hit my face, with something that sounded vaguely like a sputtering laugh. I wiped the beer out of my eyes just as Levi was covering his face with his hands. He shook violently from the silent laughter being screamed into his palms. After a few minutes, he calmed down and looked me in the eye for the first time in an hour - _not that I was counting._ “Oh my god, kid. You have no fucking idea.” In a few seconds, it almost seemed like the beer-spitting incident had never happened, and he remembered the topic of our conversation. “On top of all that, I’m not a very good teacher.”

 

“Oh come _on_ , Levi. It couldn’t hurt.” _Bless you, Hanji._

 

Levi sighed with resignation and rubbed his temples. “Fuck. Fine.” He looked pointedly at me. “Is tomorrow good for you?” The face he made reeked of _please say no._  

 

“Y-yeah! I can do that!” I realized how overeager I sounded. “I mean, I think it should be fine. I’ll let you know if it’s not.” I leaned back in the booth to somehow seem cooler than I knew I was. “I mean, even if you think you’re not a good teacher, it could be worse. I could be going to Jean.”

 

“Speaking of which, fuck Jean.” Levi made a face that bordered on pouting. _Shit, that’s adorable_. “It’s not like we don’t do this after every practice. Why would he make other plans?” He seemed genuinely hurt, like a kid whose friend had gone off with a new neighbor and not invited him.

 

“Let it go.” Hanji lightly shoved Levi’s shoulder. “I’m sure something came up, and it’s just a burger. He’s an adult-” Levi and I both snorted. “- an _adult_ and he’s allowed to make his own plans.”

 

“You know, I’d be willing to bet he snuck off to do something with his secret girlfriend.” I wiggled my fingers in the air at the word ‘secret.’ I felt myself go white as I thought of something. “Oh my god. What... what if Jean’s... what if Jean’s _fucking_ right now?” I suddenly felt really sorry for whatever poor bored girl he was heaving himself on at that exact second. Hanji cackled louder than I thought humanly possible. Levi looked absolutely nauseous at the suggestion.

 

“Fuck you, kid. We just ate.”

 

\---

 

I yawned as Hanji’s hatchback pulled into the parking lot of my dorm. “Thanks for the ride.” 

 

“No problem. Don’t forget, extra practice Tuesday night. And you have _guitaaaar lessooooons_ tomorrow!” Hanji seemed more excited about Levi’s begrudging lesson than I was.

 

“That reminds me. I was going to write a bit tomorrow, so I’ll be doing that until 2.” Levi began ticking numbers off on his fingers. “Then, I should probably get something to eat, so that’s 5... Then, sleep for a bit, so... come by about 8?” 

 

“Wow. That’s a lot of time for foo-” I cut myself short as I noticed a car in the parking lot that definitely didn’t belong there. A blue Civic with a shitload of bumper stickers that could only belong to one person. “Hey. Isn’t that Jean’s car?”

 

Hanji and Levi looked where I pointed. “Yeah. That’s definitely it,” Hanji assured me. “So, no girlfriend, then. Jean went to school here. Would he know any of the guys living in your building? Maybe he came by to hang out or something.”

 

I thought hard about people Jean had hung out with in school. I honestly forgot he’d even had any friends, but I finally remembered one. “Oh yeah. His best friend still goes here. Marco actually lives on the floor below me.” 

 

“Well, gang, I guess we solved that one. Too bad there’s not a huge dog or a fuckton of weed, or we’d be meddling kids right now.” Levi rolled his eyes in Hanji’s direction. “Is it any surprise Kirschstein’s not getting laid?” 

 

I gathered up my bag and got out of the car. As I headed toward the building, I heard a car door open and close. “Eren. Hang on.” My heart sped up as Levi called out after me.

 

“Yeah? What’s up?” I turned around and almost ran into him. He stepped back and shifted his eyes to the ground. 

 

“You have no idea where I live, and if I just tell you, you won’t remember. Do you have something I can write it on so you’ll remember it?” I felt my face go red.

 

“Uh... yeah. We have a white board I can put it on until I find directions. Come on up. I’m on the third floor.” Levi followed me up the stairs, but stopped short one floor.

 

“Hey. Do you know what would be absolutely fucking hilarious?” I looked back down the stairwell at him. I was met with the same smirk I’d seen at my audition.

 

“W-what’s that?” _Please say “If we made out for absolutely no reason and never told anyone.”_

 

“If we scared the shit out of Jean. You know where this guy lives, right? Let’s bang on the window or something.” Without waiting for an answer, he started towards the second floor rooms.

 

“Isn’t that a bit shitty? I mean, Marco’s a really nice guy, and I wouldn’t want to give him a heart attack or anything.” My heart was racing and I had no idea why. Yeah, Jean was a dick, but Marco was extremely decent and always shared notes with me.

 

“Nah. That fucker ate my sandwich the other day. He’s earned this.” Levi turned back to me. “Which room?”

 

“Ah... 207.” _Fuck. Sorry, Marco_.

 

As we finally reached Marco’s door, Levi stopped, and held out an arm to signal for me to do the same. He craned his neck toward the door, as thought he was listening to something. After a few seconds of focusing, I could hear muffled sounds coming from Marco’s room. When I looked back to him, Levi had moved closer to the door, practically pressing his ear to it. He motioned for me to come over. Closing the distance between the door and myself, the sound got clearer, but only barely. Thumping. A loud banging. A few muffled “fucks” and “shits.” 

 

Levi turned to me, whispering so quietly I wasn’t entirely sure he was making sound to begin with. “ _You’re sure these guys are friends? It sounds like someone’s getting their ass kicked.”_ I nodded emphatically. 

 

“ _Yeah. Roommates,_ ” I mouthed. 

 

Levi snuck over to the window and I followed. He brought his face close to the window before jerking back, his eyes wide and mouth open. “Holy shit.”

 

“ _What? What’s happening? Is Marco okay?_ ” Jesus Christ, if that horse-faced son of a bitch had done anything to Marco...

 

Levi leaned up against the railing with his hand over his mouth. “Yeah, kid. I think Marco’s fine. Not too sure about Kirschstein, though.” I could have sworn he was stifling a laugh. I got up closer to the window, trying to see in the holes of the blinds. About an inch away from the glass, I heard it. A moan, but not the painful kind I was expecting. 

 

“Fuck, Jean. Yo-you... you feel so fucking good...”

 

_A sexy moan._

 

“God, Marco...”

 

And I saw it. Jean Kirschstein. The biggest self-proclaimed badass of the TCA music department. The cocky shit who’d given me hell for three years of college. The guy who thought it was a good idea to hit on my sister at every open house and every concert we’d ever had together.

 

 _That_ Jean Kirschtein, who was currently being fucked over a bed by his best friend, former roommate, and one of the nicest guys I’d ever met. 

 

For a minute, I couldn’t _not_ watch, until I felt someone else’s presence next to me.

 

“So, I guess Hanji was right. No girlfriend.” Levi whispered a little too close to my ear. At that moment, I realized I was standing next to the source of a lot of confusing feelings, watching our bandmate get his ass absolutely pounded by the guy who leant me his Theory notes.

 

A few seconds went by before I felt eyes on me. I glanced over at Levi, only to make the most uncomfortable eye contact I’d ever had. With a sharp exhale, he snapped his head back towards the window and absentmindedly played with his lip ring. “Ah... I’ll have Hanji send you my address and number. See you tomorrow.” He turned quickly and darted back to the stairs. 

 

What the fuck just happened?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I seriously spelled hefeweizen five times before I got it right. I know nothing about beer, as you'll eventually learn.


	3. "Ere thrice the sun done salutation to the dawn"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there are burritos, a possible concussion, and pizza. Overall, a good evening.

Friday morning, I woke up more anxious than usual. At first, the knot in my throat and shaking hands seemed to come from nowhere. Eventually, I realized I had my guitar lesson with Levi that night. I could barely bring myself to go to class, especially since I’d have to sit through Theory next to Marco. Sweet, oblivious Marco, who was completely unaware that I’d watched him rail Jean the night before. 

 

The more I thought about it, the sicker I felt. Not because I’d basically watched Jean have sex (which felt like witnessing the birth of a goddamned unicorn), but because Levi and I stood side-by-side and watched it happen. Levi’s reaction afterward was what made me the uneasiest. Clearly, he’d been so disgusted, he ran off. _Well, there goes any shot I had_. I couldn’t even be that mad. There had never been any hint that Levi was interested in anyone, let alone other guys, so it was stupid for me to even think there was a possibility for me. Sure, I’d been aware that I liked the concept of dudes for years. I had just never been attracted to _a specific one_ , so this was kind of new to me.

 

I finally decided to skip out on Theory, coming to the conclusion that I couldn’t look Marco in the eye. I feigned a hangover that went along with the late night I’d had, despite having nothing harder than a soda at Shifty’s. Armin offered to bring me lunch after his Contemporary Politics in Film class, but I assured him I could manage. Luckily, Music Theory was my only Friday class, so I had the entire day to chew my nails over my plans for the night. I agonized all day over what to wear ( _this is not a fucking date what the hell is wrong with you no don’t wear that shirt he probably hates that band goddammit)_ and found directions to the address Hanji had sent me. I debated actually adding Levi’s number to my phone, but in the end, the pretense of a possible future Official Band Emergency won. 

 

As I tried all day to not think about how I could possibly fuck up my lesson, I found myself thinking about other things. Things still related to being alone with Levi in his apartment, but at least none of them involved learning how to play guitar. They didn’t fall in a coherent string, just disjointed scenarios:  _Levi taking off his shirt when I asked if I could see his tattoos, running my hands up his thighs, him biting my ear, rolling my hips up to meet his, his lip ring pressing into my skin as he licked my collarbone._ I shot up in bed, hand halfway in the waistband of my shorts, as Armin unlocked the door. 

 

“Feeling any better?” Armin asked without even looking at me, sitting a paper bag on my desk. “I know you said not to bother, but I got lunch for myself, and I would have felt pretty awful coming back without food for you. Did you drink a lot of water? You should really drink more water with your alcohol, Eren. Missing class for a hangover this late in the semester is a really bad idea. You know, you should probably ask Mar-”

 

“Yeah. Thanks, Armin. I already texted Marco to see if I missed much.” I cut Armin’s reprimand off, not because I didn’t deserve it, but more because I was still a bundle of nerves and he’d interrupted the closest thing I’d had to stress relief all day. His hurt expression made him look like a kicked puppy. “Hey. I really appreciate it, man. Thanks for always taking care of my stupid ass.” I reached out to grab his hand, and he responded with the same. I hefted myself out of bed and dug into the bag he’d dropped off on top of my closed computer. _Fuck yeah, Chipotle._  

 

\---

 

7:30 finally came around, and I gathered up my bag to head over to Levi’s. Armin offered to drive me, but I refused. For some reason, I thought it was a much better plan to ride my bike almost three miles through the near-snowy weather. I finally reached Levi’s building and marveled at how nice it was. The massive brownstone was surrounded by expensive cars parallel parked along the street. I knew Levi had some kind of car, but none of these looked like they would be his. Once I realized I couldn’t feel my fingers anymore, I decided it might be a good idea to go inside. The elevator up to the seventh floor seemed to take forever, but once it stopped, it felt like it had taken less than a second. At 702, I stood in front of a huge metal door and almost felt too intimidated to knock. Not so much from the size of the door itself, but more out of fear that I might break my hand on it. I inhaled sharply, knocked, and waited. Nothing. I raised my fist to knock again, a little louder this time. As I brought my hand down on the door, it clicked from the inside and opened.

 

At first, I didn’t know how to react to the person who opened the door. Yeah, in a way it _almost_ looked like Levi, but not in any way I’d expected. This pseudo-Levi was dressed in what I realized later were very nice sweatpants and an oversized sweater. He rubbed his eyes in a way that signaled I had woken him up, and his expression could be best described as “sleepy 5-year-old who’s woken up for snacktime.” The thing that caught me the most off-guard was the pair of black framed glasses that were pushed up on his head, pinning his hair down like the headband Mikasa wore when she went to the gym. Overall, he was the fucking cutest thing I had ever seen.

 

“Mnnh... Sorry. I’ve been out for a few hours.” He finished his sentence with a quiet yawn behind his hand. It took a second to realize I had been staring. “Damn, kid. They’re fucking glasses. Don’t act like it’s a huge deal.” Levi moved aside to let me in. “My eyesight’s actually for shit,” he continued. He said more about how he didn’t really need them outside of the house, but I was distracted by his apartment. It was exactly like every studio apartment I’d seen on TV. Immaculately clean, nice furniture and appliances, and a row of two guitars and two basses against a far wall. Next to them was something I would have never expected:  a piano. _That’s what Hanji meant by him playing everything._

 

“Hey, you want pizza? I forgot to eat earlier, and I’m fucking hungry.” Until he asked, I’d almost forgotten that Levi was even in the room.

 

“Uh, yeah. Sounds good.” When I turned back to him, he had already leaned down to a desktop to order. Watching him, I quickly noticed how nice asses could look in sweatpants, which I think was more of a testament to him than the pants. _Wait. No. I’ve already decided this was a bad idea. He’s definitely not cute and I definitely would not make out with him if he asked. No fucking way._  

 

“You want sausage?” 

 

I jumped and felt my face turn red. “WHAT? NO.” 

 

Levi straightened and turned to look at me, horrified.“Shit, calm down. That’s fine. No sausage.” I exhaled hard, and finally realized he was talking about the pizza.

 

“Actually, get whatever. I’m fine with pretty much anything on pizza, as long as it’s not anchovies or something.” I found a normal breathing pattern again, and my heart rate slowed back down.

 

“Well, fuck. That’s all I was getting. Three pizzas’ worth of anchovies on one. You’ve ruined everything. Get out.” He turned his head to me, and I could make out the traces of that same smirk I could feel in the pit of my stomach. “Damn. 45 minutes, and it’s probably going to snow, so we’re looking at an hour at the least. Fucking hell.”

 

Levi crossed the room to the row of guitars and picked up the acoustic. “It’ll be easier for you to learn with this. Everyone tends to play an electric too loud the first time.” He stood in the middle of what I assumed was meant to be a living room and scratched the back of his head. “Trying to figure out the best way to do this. I tried to tell you I’m not a good teacher.”

 

I raised my hand to my forehead in a mock salute. “I have faith in you, captain.” He rolled his eyes at me and snorted.

 

“Dumbass. Sit down.” He gestured towards the rug. “This is seriously the only way I think I can make this work. I just want to preface it with a huge ‘no homo,’ which is a bit difficult because, well... it’s me.”

 

I began to sit when his words dawned on me. “Y.. are you saying you’re...”

 

“A raging fucking homosexual? Yeah. I guess you could put it that way, although the way things have been going for me lately, the ‘fucking’ part might be a bit of a stretch.” He grinned at his own joke, but after seeing what I’m sure was a shocked look on my face, his face darkened. “What? Oh holy shit, kid. Is this going to be weird now? Because if this is some kind of fucking problem, I highly suggest you just leave the band now, while you’re easy to replace. You know, I keep telling Erwin we should just find a way to ask these things outri-”

 

“No, it’s not a problem at all.” I hesitated to cut him off, but he seemed more disappointed than angry, like even the possibility of me having some kind of issue with his sexuality was painful. “I’ve just... really never known any other gay guys. Well, other than Jean now, but I’m pretty sure gay horses don’t count.” 

Levi slowly turned back around to me. “Other?” He raised an eyebrow as he crossed his arms. “So, you like dick? Is there something in the fucking water at that school?”

 

“Ah, I think so. I mean, about me, not the water. I think that’s just a shitty filtration system.” I rubbed the back of my neck and looked up at him from the floor. “I’ve never really had the... opportunity, I guess, but yeah. Guys look nice.”

 

“Huh. I just wouldn’t have pegged you as gay, that’s all. But it’s not like we wear a sign or anything, so that’s kind of on me for assuming.” He shrugged and seemed to calm down. “Whatever. Good for you, I guess. Not sure if that makes this more or less awkward than it was already going to be.” While I was trying to make sense of what he’d said, he sat down behind me and moved up until his chest was flush with my back and his legs out to the sides. For the millionth time since we’d met, my face felt hot and I forgot how my hands worked.

 

“Okay. To start off, your right hand goes here.” His words hit the back of my head, and I felt something heavy land in my lap. For a minute, I’d completely forgotten about the guitar in his hands. Once I picked the neck up, his hands came around to hold mine on the guitar. “Personally, I think it’s easier to just jump right the fuck in to learning a song. Reading music comes a lot easier later if you already have a feel for what you’re doing.” He took my left hand in his and brought it up further on the neck. “Hold down this string here... and this one here. This is a C. Then move this... here, that’s D. You’re going to go back and forth between these two a few times, so do that until it stops feeling weird.”

 

Every time Levi spoke, I felt hot breath on the back of my neck, and occasionally, I could feel his heartbeat against my back. At first, it was impossible to concentrate on what I was trying to do, but I eventually got the hang of the two chords. “So... like this?” I asked, once I felt relatively comfortable with it.

 

“Yeah. That’s not bad,” he almost whispered into the back of my head. He cleared his throat and brought his hands up to mine again. “So, after that D, you’ll move this... here, and this... here, to a G.” I strummed tentatively, and again. “There you go, kid. Intro to a fucking Smiths song. This one’s hard as shit. Hope you’re up to it.”

 

“Why’d you start me out on something that hard? Isn’t there anything easier I could do first?” I realized I was whining, but frankly, I didn’t care.

 

“Because, you little shit, I think you can handle it.” I felt myself blush at the praise. “If I didn’t really think you could do it, I wouldn’t have bothered.” Even though I couldn’t see him, I could hear the smile in his voice. “I might be a shitty teacher, but I know pushing you is the best way for you to get it.”

 

“Right. Get me to hate you so I can prove you wrong,” I sneered.

 

His hands fell away from mine. “I... I don’t want you to hate me, Eren.” Instead of my neck, his breath fell hot on the back of my ear.

“I don’t h-” I couldn’t finish the sentence as I felt dry lips press into the back of my neck.

 

I swallowed hard. After sitting frozen for what felt like hours, I tried to set the guitar on the floor and turn to look Levi in the face. The expression that met me was hardly the one I was expecting.

 

“What the _actual fuck_ do you think you’re doing?”

 

Oh, god. I had completely misread everything. This didn’t really mean anything. He’d only agreed to the lesson to shut me up and keep me in the band. Of course, he didn’t really give a shit about me. “I.. I’m sorry, I...” I attempted to get up out of the floor to put the guitar away and leave. As I put my hand on the floor to steady myself, Levi grabbed my wrist. 

 

“If you even fucking think about leaving my guitar on the floor, you can forget about this going any further. In fact, I’ll make your life a living hell until you either leave the band or die.” My eyes widened in genuine fear until he cracked a half smile. “Here, dumbass. I’ll take care of it. Stay there.” 

 

My mouth gaped as he stood with the guitar in hand and returned it to its space against the wall. I quickly brushed my hands through my hair and checked my breath. _Fucking gross. Oh, well. This is happening, so I really can’t give a shit._  

 

Levi crossed back to where I was still sitting dumbfounded on the living room rug. “Well, after that, I’m not sure this is a good idea anymore...” He reached down to help me out of the floor, and I almost missed that fucking smirk. I grabbed his hand, and had a really shitty idea. Instead of pulling myself out of the floor, I yanked on his arm and brought him crashing down on top of me. In my head, I thought it would be cute or hot or _something_. However, I didn’t take into consideration the fact that our skulls might possibly crack together. This sent Levi rolling into the floor next to me, grabbing his forehead and laughing between the “fucks” and “ow’s.” 

 

“Jesus Christ, kid. You really need to stop trying to kill me.” Once I was sure I wasn’t bleeding or anything, I hovered over Levi to make sure I hadn’t accidentally been successful. He moved his hand away and I felt better knowing he was at least still conscious. My relief crashed as the same hand wrapped around the back of my neck and pulled my head downward. “You’re really fucking cute, though, so I guess I’ll let it go.”

 

My vision blurred as Levi pressed his lips to mine. The hand on the back of my neck moved up into my hair, and my eyes finally closed. I gasped lightly as his tongue glanced against my lip. I apparently couldn’t take the hint, and his thumb moved to my jaw to open my mouth slightly. Before I could react, he bit at my bottom lip.  Eager to just _fucking do something_ , I attempted to force my tongue into his mouth, but ran it into his instead. Levi chuckled darkly against my lips. “Shit...”

 

I opened my eyes to look him in the eye, and noticed that his face was red and his breathing had gotten heavy. _Putting that away to remember later._ A dull ache in my side reminded me of the awkward position I’d gotten into to check on Levi’s possible concussion. Without thinking, I shifted up on to my knees and swung one leg over his hips. I watched his face as he swallowed hard and moved a hand to my thigh. “You know, if we weren’t-” 

 

The sound of the doorbell cut him off. Levi shot up, almost knocking me out of his lap. “ _Pizza,”_ he whisper-yelled. I sat, dejected, in the floor and looked up at him with the saddest face I could muster. Without even turning around to see my pathetic display, he added, “ and then, more of that, obviously. And not on the goddamned floor. That was the worst idea you’ve ever had.”  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ngl, they almost ordered none pizza with left beef.


	4. This is the road to ruin, and we're starting at the end

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there are blackouts, snowballs, and a sweet metal van.

 

“You want another beer?” Levi asked around a mouthful of pizza.

 

“Oh my fucking god, yes.” 

 

He held back one of the bottles as he came back to the couch and gave me a suspicious look. “I’ve never really asked. How old are you, anyway?”

 

I raised an eyebrow as I took another slice out of the box. “It’s a little late for that, isn’t it? This is my third beer.”

 

He scoffed. “What the fuck ever. We’re in my house, and I’m pretty sure there’s no cops around. I was just wondering.”

 

I shot him a look, trying to copy the same smirk he always gave me. “Trying to keep yourself from sounding like a dirty old man?” I laughed to myself.

 

He lightly knocked the bottle against the side of my head. “Clearly.”

 

As I finished the last piece of pizza, we sat in silence on the couch. Levi seemed overly preoccupied with the Newcastle label on his bottle. I had the feeling I’d made everything weird with that last comment, and for some reason, chewing on my lip seemed like the right reaction. “21,” I finally managed to choke out.

 

“What?”

 

“You asked. I’m 21.” I took an overconfident swig of beer and almost drowned in it.

 

“Sure about that?” He snorted as I wiped my face on my sleeve. “So, you’re not that much younger. Guess the whole ‘kid’ thing must seem pretty stupid.” 

 

“Nah. It’s not that bad.” Another drink of beer. “Actually, I kind of like it.” I took the risk and looked him in the eye. 

 

I’m not entirely sure where Levi’s beer went, but in the time it took for the words to leave my mouth and to look up at him, his arm was around my shoulders. “ _Really?_ And what else do you like?” His face was buried in the crook of my neck, breath hot and smelling like beer. Before I could react, he latched on to my neck. 

 

“Sh- shit, Levi.” My voice cracked in a half-assed attempt to get him to go easy on me, but as he began to lick at the spot where he’d bitten me, I suddenly stopped caring. He did back away after a minute, and moved to the opposite corner of the couch.

 

“C’mere.” He jerked his head in a backwards nod.

 

I settled over his hips again, the same way I had before the pizza guy showed up. What followed was a clash of lips and tongues. Hands ran through hair, and every once in a while, there was a sharp _click_ as Levi’s lip ring hit teeth. After about the fifth time (I was frankly too busy to keep count), he pulled back and laughed into my mouth. “Fuck. Sorry about that. Like I said, it’s been a while.” He slid the ring out and sat it on top of his phone next to the couch. “Better?” I grinned and lowered my face back down to his. My eyes closed as we continued.

 

A few minutes later, Levi stopped abruptly. “Oh, fuck me,” he growled. _Not really the tone I expected, and I didn’t think we were to that point yet..._ I slowly opened my eyes to tell him that, while it wasn’t necessarily a bad idea, just maybe not right now. Quickly, I realized something wasn’t right. I had definitely opened my eyes, right? Why was everything black?

 

“SHIT.” I groped for Levi’s face. “Levi. I think I’m blind. My mom said something like this would happen...”

 

Despite not being able to see him, I could still hear his snort. _Bless you. Be strong for me in my time of need, you brave little soldier._

 

“You’re not fucking blind, Eren. The power went out.”

 

“Oh. Well, that sucks, too.”

 

“Uh, yeah. Especially on nights like this.”

 

“Why?”

 

I could feel his ‘you-fucking-dumbass’ face in the dark. “Because, kid, when the power goes out, something very important goes out with it.”

 

“Th- the internet?”

 

Levi sighed. “Well, I was going to say central heating, but you’re right. The internet is probably the most important thing that could go when it’s below freezing out.” He gave me a light shove. Grabbing for one of the blankets draped across the back of the couch, he pulled it over my back as I rested my head on his chest. He smelled like beer and pizza, which was surprisingly comforting. One of his hands came up to run through my hair. “Just stay like this for a while. You’re like a goddamned space heater.” At some point, we both fell asleep on the couch as the snow continued to fall outside.

 

\---

 

I woke up alone with a sharp cold pain in the back of my head. My eyes shot open to see that the lights had come back on, and that it was still pitch dark outside the huge window. _The snow, though._ There had to be at least seven or eight inches outside. I felt the back of my head as the pain faded a little and brought back a wet hand. _What the fuck._ That’s when I heard a snicker from the direction of the front door. Warily, I turned to see Levi collapsing from laughter, dressed in a parka and gloves with a cooler full of snow.

 

“Y-you m-m-motherf-fucker!” My teeth chattered slightly from the ice sliding down the back of my shirt.

 

“Oh, poor fucking baby.” He raised a gloved hand to his face in mock concern. “Come on, lighten up.”

 

I lurched off the couch, only to fall to the floor tangled in blankets. More laughter from the smug son of a bitch at his handiwork. “Jesusfuck...”

 

Levi began to approach me, and my eyes widened in fear. “Calm down, kid. It’s not fair if I come after you like this. Get up.” He helped me out of the knot of blankets and pulled me up out of the floor. “I thought this would be cute, but it’s really just kind of sad.” I glared at him as he planted a kiss on my cheek.

 

“Not cool, man.” I held his gaze for a second before I bolted for the cooler full of revenge. There was no time to actually form anything remotely resembling a snowball, so I just flung a handful of lightly packed snow in his general direction. Naturally, it came nowhere near him and he took the opportunity to ridicule me.

 

“You _have_ to be able to do better than that.”

 

“Maybe, but I have the snow now. So, fuck you.” I pulled out another fistful of snow and began packing it into a ball. “Give me a reason why I shouldn’t bean you in the fucking face.”

 

He laughed arrogantly. “I don’t have to. You obviously can’t.”

 

I yelled and lunged toward him, trying desperately to hit him and missing. It went on like this until we finally reached the slushy water at the bottom of the cooler. In the end, my clothes were soaked and Levi was dry as a bone. We cleaned up the puddles of ice that dotted the floor. “What time is it, anyway?” I yawned.

 

“About 3.” Shit, no wonder I was tired.

 

“Damn. I need to go home and go to bed.”

 

Levi furrowed his brow. “Like hell you are. It’s around -15, there’s about eight inches of snow, and you came on a bike. You’d be dead before you even got a block away.” He motioned toward himself. “You can stay here, and I’ll take you home in the morning.” 

 

I shuffled toward him, my arms outstretched for a hug I knew would soak his shirt in fantastic vengeance. His eyes widened in horror as he realized what I was trying to do. Levi pushed my shoulder away as I got within arms’ reach, while grabbing the wet shirt and pulling it up over my head. “No fucking way. Put your wet shit in the dryer. I have stuff you can change into.” 

 

I turned back to him, red from both embarrassment and the fact that I was standing in ice-soaked clothes in a cold apartment. “I can’t wear your clothes! That’s...”

 

“What, kid? Is it gay? Hate to break it to you, but your tongue down my throat is _way_ gayer than borrowing my clothes.” He fished some flannel pants and a shirt out of a drawer and threw them at me. “Here. Go change, then be a big super hetero and come to bed.”

 

I came out of the bathroom, wet clothes safely in the dryer, to find Levi already in bed. Swallowing hard to try to clear the lump out of my throat, I stood at the foot of the bed. “So... How should I do this?” 

 

Levi’s stare bored holes in my skull. “Well, most people lie on it and sleep. Sometimes, there are blankets. Not really sure how much better I can explain it.” He pulled the sheets back next to him. “Come on. I’m fucking exhausted.” 

 

As I moved the sheets to get in bed, I finally had a clear view of Levi’s tattoos. To put it bluntly, he was covered in birds. Painted illustrations of birds, like the kind from the field guides Mom kept on the coffee table. 

 

“Goddammit, kid. Get in the fucking bed, or sleep on the couch. I brought all the blankets over here, though, so good luck with that.” I crawled in, making sure to keep my distance and put my back to Levi. A puff of breath from his exasperated sigh blew through my hair, and I felt the bed dip as he shifted forward. His cold hand slid over my hip as he moved against me. I reached down for it and threaded our fingers together.

 

“Go to sleep, you little shit.”

 

\---

 

I woke up in Levi’s apartment for the second time, but this time, without snowballs. Instead, my bandmate/guitar teacher/makeout partner or whatever took up most of the bed while I sprawled out over him with my head on his shoulder. Rather than wake him up immediately, I quietly watched Levi sleep for a few minutes. Even when he was asleep, he looked so... concentrated, I guess. As he started to wake up, I panicked and put my head back down to seem like I was still asleep, and totally not watching him like a fucking pervert.

 

“Hey, kid. Get up. Let’s get some breakfast and take you home.” A hand brushed through my hair and came to rest on the back of my head. 

 

\---

 

I followed Levi out behind his building, to the parking garage I’d somehow missed the night before. Every car we approached, and eventually passed, was his, I assumed. We passed nice sedans, broken down station wagons, and SUVs that were almost the size of my dorm room. As we turned the corner, I turned all my attention to what was possibly the most hideous and glorious thing I had ever seen. A black van sat in the corner, no visible windows and one of those useless ladders on the back that led to nowhere. But the best was yet to come. On the side of the van, two majestic airbrushed eagles fought in mid-air over mist-covered mountains. It was goddamned magnificent.

 

“Just chuck your bike in the back.” 

 

“This is fucking amazing.”

 

“Shut up.”

 

\---

 

Levi parked the van in almost the exact same spot Hanji had pulled into a few days earlier. He threw on the handbrake as I stuffed the last of an Egg McMuffin in my mouth.

 

“So, I was thinking... wow, Eren. That’s super attractive. Can’t believe I passed that up.”

 

“I was _hungry._ ” My indignant tone was muffled by processed egg loaf.

 

“Clearly. Anyway, do you... damn. I’m really shitty at this.” I raised an eyebrow as he slapped an open palm over his face. _Is this real life? Is he actually trying to do this?_

 

“What?” I feigned complete ignorance to what I thought might be happening. “What’s up?”

 

“Do you... fuck, do you want to, like... get food or something?”

 

I stared blankly. “We just got food. Good job. Go us.”

 

“No. Goddammit, kid. Go with me on this.” He ran a hand through his hair in frustration.

 

“You mean like... a date or someth-”

 

“Of course, I mean like a fucking date. What else would I have meant?” His face turned red and he glared intently at the steering wheel.

 

“Like... tonight?” I wasn’t really having to fake the ignorance anymore. I was genuinely shocked.

 

“Yeah, I guess.”

 

“Oh. Yeah, sounds good.” I had about a split second before his hand was on the back of my neck and pulling me in to another kiss. As we pulled away from each other, he pushed his forehead to mine.

 

“Make sure you have a bag packed when I pick you up. We never really had that lesson, and I’d _hate_ it if you had to stay over again.”

 

I laughed quietly, but noticed that Levi wasn’t looking at me anymore.

 

“Oh, shit.” I followed his gaze out the windshield and felt my heart drop into my intestines. I’m still not sure how I hadn’t noticed the blue Civic in the space next to ours.

 

Jean stood outside the van, staring at us with a gaping mouth. I couldn’t actually hear the “holy fuck” he muttered to himself, but I could definitely feel it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: I legit had an indoor water balloon fight at a friend's house in high school. 
> 
> It was not this cute.


	5. But there's a light on in Chicago

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there are Post-Its, Korean waitresses, and bloody psychic teenage girls (or not).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MY GOD. I'M SO SORRY. Yes, I'm an adult with a job and a life (and cosplay to work on...), but 3 months without an update... I'm so ashamed of myself. I say as I update with a super-short chapter.
> 
> Oh well. THESE NERDS ARE GOING ON A DATE.
> 
> If you want to say hi or tell me how horrible my Korean is, my tumblr is [resting-levi-face](http://resting-levi-face.tumblr.com). So come and say hi, why not.

Jean stuck his stupid horsey face in the driver’s side window and gave Levi a withering look. “Dude. You could do way better.”  He nodded at me. “He’s a piece of shit.”

Levi scoffed and I puffed out my cheeks in frustration. “Goddammit, Jean,” he huffed. “I swear to fucking god, if you tell Er-”

Jean laughed in Levi’s face. “No fucking way, man. First of all, he’d probably kill _me_ just for telling him. Second, if this isn’t blackmail material, I don’t know what is.” He folded his arms over the door in triumph.

I tried hard to muffle a laugh. “I don’t think so, dickbag. Tell me, Jean. Why are you here _this_ early in the morning?” Jean’s eyes widened as he rubbed the back of his neck.

“Ahh... I. Well. Uh, M- _Marco_. Marco still lives here. I just came-”

“I’m sure you both did. He seems considerate like that.” Levi smirked while I doubled over in laughter. Jean, however, turned a disgusting shade of grey.

“ _What._ ” The flat tone matched his expressionless face. Levi grabbed Jean’s coat by the collar and pulled him further through the window. 

“Okay, fuckstick. Here’s how it is: You saw us sucking face. Jaeger and I know about your secret boyfriend, and that you’re apparently a bottom. All of this should probably stay between the three of us. So, let’s just forget about this and go about our business, yeah?” He released Jean with a light shove. Jean’s face had gone from grey to bright pink. 

Jean stood in the slushy parking lot for a minute before silently admitting defeat. “But... _how_?” His face screwed up in confusion as he shuffled back to his car.

I stared at Levi in wide-eyed disbelief. “That was... wow.”

“God, kid. Don’t pop a fucking boner over it or anything.” He gave me a sidelong glance that looked like he was seriously considering the possibility. “You should probably go on. Did you ever tell your roommate you were staying over?”

“Fucking _Christ_.” I had completely forgotten to call Armin, and considering how worried he’d been about my fake hangover, he was probably either tearing his hair out or convincing Mikasa this was a perfectly sound reason for calling the SWAT team. 

As I reached for the handle, Levi pulled me back for a quick kiss. His hand landed a little too high on my thigh and I screamed internally. “Pick you up at seven.” His thumb rubbed against the inside of my leg. The sound I made barely echoed the scream in my head. _And that motherfucker laughed._

\---

 

As I closed the door behind me, I sighed in relief at the note I found instead of Armin.  

  _Eren._

_Figured you stayed over because of snow._

_At library all day. Don’t forget to eat._

_-Armin._  

 I always found it funny that he felt the need to sign his notes, as though someone else was going to sneak in and leave Post-Its on my desk. At the moment, though, the only thing that I cared about was that he wasn’t there. 

Not willing to take any chances, I wedged one of the shitty dorm-supplied chairs up under the doorknob after locking it. I was already lying in bed by the time my jeans hit the floor. 

There was still a burning heat where Levi’s hand had landed on my leg. My hand slid past the waistband of my shorts as I remembered how he looked pinned under me the night before. I thought about the way his hand wrapped around mine on the guitar, how his tongue slid against the roof of my mouth. I closed my eyes and all I could feel was his mouth on my cock as I began to pump my fist. I bit down on my lip until i was sure I could taste blood and gasped his name. As I twisted my hand over the head of my dick, I imagined his glaring eyes, daring me to finish. I finally came hard, making my shorts cling to the inside of my leg. I brushed the other hand through my hair, unsticking it from my sweaty forehead. _Gross. Good thing I was going to shower anyway..._  

 

\---

 

Armin came back to the room not too long before Levi was supposed to pick me up. “Oh, are you going somewhere? How did you get home?”

“Levi brought me home. He’s coming by in a minute.”

Armin cocked his head in curiosity. “Did you forget something there?”

“What? Why would you assume I just left something there?” I stared angrily in the mirror at the battle I was quickly losing to my hair. “We’re going to get something to eat. Probably hang out after that.”

Armin laughed lightly to himself as he emptied his backpack onto his desk. “Careful, Eren. That almost sounds like a date.”

My face flushed out of embarrassment and I glared at my roommate out of the corner of my eye. “... So? Maybe it is...” I went back to trying to smooth out a cowlick, but my heart kept pounding in my ears. Armin and I had never really talked about the fact that I might be gay. I had always just assumed he’d figured it out, but suddenly, I wasn’t so sure. Turning slowly to face him, I was ready for the worst.

I hadn’t even heard Armin cross the room. “That’s great!” His hands quickly clapped down on my shoulders and his face was beaming. “I never really thought you’d go on another date after Annie.” _Yes, Armin. Let’s bring up 12th grade. That seems really relevant right now._ “Do you like him?”

My face stayed red. “Umm... yeah. Yeah, I do.” I sat at my desk chair to put on my shoes. “Actually, I like him a lot. He kind of seems like an asshole the first time you meet him, but he’s nice... sometimes. And, oh my god, he does this thing with his tongue-”

“ _Oh my GOD,_ Eren. That’s enough!” Armin hid his face behind his hands and looked at me through his fingers. “Wait. Does that mean you’ve... done _stuff_ with him?”

“Well, not re-”

“Did you _sleep with him_?” He almost shrieked.

“Well...”

“Stop saying ‘well’! It makes it seem like you did!” His flailing hands almost sent me flying backwards.

“Technically, I guess I did. I slept in a bed at the same time as him, so... yeah. I guess we slept together.” I continued getting ready and tried to ignore Armin’s overreaction to my answer. 

“But _Eren..._ ”

“Goddammit, Armin. I like him. I think he likes me. I slept with him. I literally _just slept_ with him. I’m not a fucking kid.”

“No, it’s fine! You just get really... involved in relationships, and I don’t want to see you get hurt. Besides, you seriously can’t tell me you wouldn’t react the same way if I said I’d slept with some guy. I was surprised, that’s all.” He waved his hands defensively in front of his face. “Really. I’m happy for you! Have a good time!” 

“Do you swear? Do you seriously swear you’re not going to be weird about this?” I looked him dead in the eye. 

“ _Oh my god, Eren._ Everything’s fine. Just, you know... condoms and stuff.”

“Gee, thanks, mom.”

“Right, because your mom would be this calm. I’m a cool mom.” 

While I tried to unsee Armin’s head on my mom’s body, there was a knock on the door. I checked my hair for the hundredth time in the mirror before I opened it. 

Levi leaned against the frame as I opened the door. “Hey.” He jerked his head upward as he acknowledged me.

“Hi. One second.” I turned around to make sure I’d picked up my keys. 

Armin’s office chair slid into view of the door, and he waved enthusiastically to Levi. “Hi!”

Levi lost his balance in response to my unexpected roommate. “Shit...”

“Oh, this is my roommate, Armin. Armin, this is Levi...” As I jerked my thumb at Levi, he grabbed my hand. “... and I guess we’re leaving. Have a good night, man.”

Armin flashed a huge grin. “I’d tell you to do the same, but it looks like I don’t have to.” I glared at him as hard as I could, but he just giggled behind his hand.

 

\---

 

Once we were safely in the van, Levi’s fingers wove into my hair and our foreheads pressed together as he gave me a quick kiss. “Hey.” I swallowed hard as his thumb brushed over my ear. We sat like that for a few seconds, until he sat upright and rested his wrists on top of the steering wheel. 

“So... do you like Korean?”

 

\---

 

“ 무엇을 드시겠습니까?”

Goddammit. Of course, Levi brought me to a restaurant where I can’t even read the bathroom signs. The waitress smiled expectantly at me, waiting for something. I felt like a fish trying to breathe on dry land, but approximately ten times worse. I raised my hands to shrug at her as I shook my head. “I-”

“이인분 삼겹살 주세요.”

I stared at Levi from across the table. What the _fuck_ did he just say? Our waitress turned to him quickly.

“어떻게 당신의 남자 친구 좋아?”

At that question, or what I assumed was a question, he turned back to me. “Which one do you want?” He gestured at the pictures on the menu.

“Ahh... I guess that one?” I pointed at something I quietly hoped had formerly been a cow.

“일인분 불고기주세요.”

She quickly smiled, nodded, and walked away. I propped my head up on both of my hands and looked pointedly at Levi. “So. You speak Korean now.”

He wrinkled his nose at me and scoffed. “Well, not just now. I didn’t somehow learn basic Korean by walking into a restaurant, if that’s what you’re asking.” He snorted at me as I slumped back in the booth and glared at him. “No, my landlady’s from Incheon. She taught me some conversational stuff when I moved in.”

“Huh. That... That’s actually pretty cool.” I leaned on the table with my chin in my hand as I considered the new information. Levi laughed at the expression I don’t think I meant to have.

“Yeah, but don’t expect any kind of Korean dirty talk or anything. It’s... not super attractive unless you actually speak the language.” He shrugged as he raised an eyebrow. “French, though. That’s a thing I don’t think you’d mind.”

My eyes widened as I shot up in my seat. “W-what, does your landlady speak French, too?” My attempt at smug confidence was fucking awful.

Levi snickered at me again. “Not quite. Family.” Before I could continue my line of questions, the waitress came back with our food. As I started in on the plate of what I later learned was barbecue, I felt something brush across my foot and against my ankle. The logical reaction, of course, was to lose my shit.

“UMM,” I shout-whispered across the table. “I don’t think we should ever come back here. _I think they have rats._ ” 

Levi glared at me in confusion as he stuffed a fork-full of meat into his mouth. “What the hell? No, they don’t.”

“Uh, I think I would know. One just tried to hump my leg. This is fucking gross.” I made the angriest face I could muster, while simultaneously trying to eat the amazing food in front of me _and_ trying to be attractive on a date. Levi’s most reasonable reaction, of course, was to laugh in my face as he took a drink of water.

“That wasn’t a rat, you dipshit.” My mouth fell open as his tongue ran over the end of the straw. “It was me.”

In spite of the blush creeping across my face, I tried to choke out a laugh. “We’re on a date and you start calling me names? I might not put out at the end of the night.” I made my best attempt to _seductively_ eat a piece of barbecue, but rather than biting it in half, it flopped out of my mouth and against my chin. _Nice_.

For once, Levi made the decision to not laugh at me. No, he did one worse. He leaned in across the table and licked the corner of his mouth. “I highly doubt it.” I’m not sure if I actually made a noise as he dragged his teeth across his bottom lip, but I definitely thought it. The rest of dinner was kind of a blur, but I know I remember every time he licked sauce off the side of his hand.

 

\---

 

Levi let out an exasperated sigh as we walked back to the van. “So, do you want to see _Carrie_ or not?” I’d already told him that I wasn’t super excited about seeing naked teenage girls killing substantially more popular teenage girls. At the same time, I failed to tell him that after the shit he’d pulled at dinner, I was more than willing to go straight back to his apartment.

“Not really. Armin’s been trying to get me to see the original for years, but I’ve been putting it off.” I shrugged casually, trying to not look as anxious as the knot in my stomach made me feel.

“Good call, kid.” He clapped me on the back. “The remake actually looks good, but you really can’t beat Sissy Spacek flipping her shit.” His hand slid down my back and I gulped. “Wasn’t that interested in really watching it, anyway,” he added quietly as he brushed his hand over my ass. For probably the hundredth time that night, he laughed at the nervous yelp that came out of my mouth.

Fucking shit.

 

\---

 

Before that night, I could have confidently said I would probably never make out with someone in an elevator.

I would have been very wrong.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone who actually speaks Korean but is not Google translate, please feel free to correct what I'm sure is horrible grammar or smth.
> 
> And don't worry. The horse jokes are ending soon. Eren is just a piece of shit.

**Author's Note:**

> I honestly for the life of me could not tell you what kind of music Dismember plays... which might become a running joke.
> 
> Thanks so much for reading this! It means a lot to me.


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